As a result of the emotional changes that I have been through that I described in the previous two days, I now find it very difficult to hear any bad news story and so I do my best to avoid them. Whether there has been an attack, accident or a natural disaster, any story that reports the harming or death of people, I usually find it too much to cope with and they often bring me to my knees. Jason has become very good and efficient on letting me know in the kindest and most comforting of ways that something bad has hit the news, enabling me to hide myself from any media coverage, including social media. In my own time and as I feel ready, I know that I can ask Jason any pertinent questions I may have and he can give me the answers on a need-to-know basis.
As I watch myself from afar, I find my old self judging my inability to involve myself in this aspect of society and wondering whether I will ever feel more able to cope in the future. It makes me perceive myself as being cold and uninterested but in reality it is something I have to do to protect my own mental health.
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